Week 63 - The Concentric circle of Family

Years ago, joint families were very common..Living with grandparents, cousins, uncles and aunts were the only way we knew.  Slowly it changed according to the needs of the individual families.  The size of the "family" living under the same roof definitely started to reduce. It had its own advantages and disadvantages. The main advantage being that there was less "interference" from the generation that was older than us.. but the disadvantage was that the younger generation became very lonely. The decision of whether to go the nuclear way or the joint family way can be easy or difficult based on the level of comfort that the couple have between each other and their parents. Many a times, its hard to realize the protection that our elders give us, unless we don't have it anymore.

Although we have not reached that part of the story yet to make a decision on nuclear family or not, we have reached a point where the "interference" of elders has already caused a lot of damage for the couple and are continuing to affect the peace of the couple.

After the realization that Sona is always on Dev's side and only trying to "help" him all the time, Dev felt genuinely guilty for making the same mistake over and over again! Honestly, if he had known that Sonakshi had a backup plan to trap Khatri, he wouldn't have reacted the way he did.. But then, Sona didn't even allow him to finish that thought and insisted that he stay away from all plans... Dev's temperament is definitely something that he needs to control, but I will not question his intelligence or detective skills. I am sure Sonakshi wouldn't have forgotten the time when Mr.Dixit was a go-getter and had extra ordinary detective skills!! The reference to short hair/floppy hair and stylish dress was much more interesting than the actual Khatri part!! The scene was more enjoyable for me personally because of Golu! I couldn't stop laughing when he said I will listen to mom and write XYZ because with XYZ, alphabets are over !! 😂 😂  And, of course mom is always right!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

The take away for Dev from that discussion, was not that women are always right.. it was the "trust on Sonakshi" that he needs to work on.  Assuming Dev, Sonakshi and Soha are a family.. unless this family is tied together by each other's love, trust and sacrifice, its very difficult for it to exist even if there are tons of people trying to support or protect them. The bond has to happen naturally within the "family".

As the week progressed, though, there were some very noticeable changes in Dev..and I really enjoyed watching him.

Ishwari wants her son to be happy according to the rules set forth by her. Bijoy wants his daughter to be very happy within the protective circle he created for her. Both of them, over a period of time have interfered in their children's life so much that it now seems that there is no way to go against their wishes. When Bijoy came to the Dixit house looking for Sonakshi and Soha, he was the father of a 10 year old girl, who was in the pursuit of protecting his daughter 😡😡 And his daughter, the otherwise independent woman, was trying to convince him only in vain.. Dev and Sonakshi had taken a decision for their daughter's sake. But they changed it. When we let the circle outside our family interfere with our decisions, then our family doesn't become strong.. But then those who are interfering are our own parents..How can we call them external circle and how to decide how much interference we should allow? This question does not have a straight forward answer and can be solved only by trial and error.

Dev has always lived in the moment and never went against his mom. The only other time that he went against her was during Sonakshi's engagement with Rithvik. To me, inspite of his mom deciding that they will go to the Bose house, he coming to Sona and asking her not to leave was a "change" I saw in him. And on top of it, the way he shared Mami and Ishwari's conversation (that he overheard!! seriously, are there no doors in the Dixit house? 🤔🤔) with Sonashi was a huge change in him. This is the kind of "teamwork" I wanted to see between Dev and Sona 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 With this kind of open conversation between Dev and Sona, the interference of elders will definitely not cause any friction within the core family Dev-Sona-Soha. This is the kind of concentric circle I was referring to - the core inner family must be open in all their discussions and have tons of trust on each other.. whatever happens because of the older generation, need to be discussed openly before taking anyone's side.

In an attempt to make Sonakshi and Suhana stay back in the Dixit house with him, Dev fell sick, thanks to Golu's idea of fake illness story to avoid dance class! I always visualize Dev as the person representing the heart and Sonakshi as someone that represents the brain. Even though Sonakshi uses her brain more than the heart in matters related to Dev, she lets her heart out to Ishwari. When it is a question of making Ishwari happy and content, she gives her everything to her, just like Dev. In that angle, Sonakshi is the "perfect" companion, support and life partner for Devrath Dixit s/o Ishwari Dixit. It was very heartwarming to see Sonakshi do everything that she can, to make Ishwari feel content... letting Ishwari take the lead in caring for Dev, letting the grandkids play with her.. She even went to the point of leaving the Dixit home without Suhana and letting her stay with Ishwari, until Dev gets well. All this, apart from the dangerous Khatri episode that she was handling. A woman like Sonakshi is the kind of daughter in law that every house needs! But Ishwari somehow could not trust her enough to give Dev 100% to her.

Dev understands Sonakshi's good intentions for most part, even though he also occasionally doubts her sincerity. But then, luck has also been completely unfavorable to him! Otherwise why would Ishwari always listen to only half of his conversations with Sonakshi, when he was able to overhear the whole conversation of Ishwari almost always?!  And because of this bad luck, he often gets himself in a soup! Ishwari with the help of GKB's evil push, decided to challenge Dev one more time by giving him tough choices! The emotional blackmail is always the trump card the parents tend to use on their perfect kids when they want their kids to do what they want..Such blackmailing will never work on kids who don't respect their parents! The same time as Ishwari challenged Dev, Sonakshi was also put in a spot by Bijoy. 

One of main differences between Dev and Sonakshi is the kind of dependence they have on each other or to be precise, the way they express it. Dev right away went to Sonakshi, when he had to face Ishwari's challenge. Dev had always depended on her as a friend even before he realized she was much more than a friend.  However, Sonakshi was able to decide for herself, as always. What she promised Bijoy was something she had to, for Suhana's sake. Dev also pretty much said the same to his mom, however, he lacked conviction and assertiveness and that lack of assertiveness gave a wrong message to his mom that she could still influence him.

I have always wondered as to why Ishwari is unable to get the confidence on Sonakshi that she will not take Dev away from her.  When the case of Khatri is resolved and when Ishwari realizes that Sonakshi was instrumental in getting it resolved, she might gain that trust in her? Or may be not.

But whether Ishwari accepts Sonkashi with an open heart or not and whether Bijoy accepts Dev with an open heart or not, should not matter at all, if there is utmost confidence and trust in their innermost circle of "family". By saying this, I don't mean that Ishwari or Bijoy must be ignored or treated with disrespect. Dev and Sonakshi are son and daughter goals and will never ever do that. However, they have to mature enough to a point where Ishwari or Bijoy cannot influence how they feel for each other.. Thats the direction, I think, we are heading in our show and I am extremely happy about that. It is not going to happen overnight. Its a slow process of realization for everyone.

In the meantime, Sonakshi continued to make progress in the case of Khatri and continued to care for her dear Dev and his family with all her heart and even managed to secretly think about Dev fondly whenever things reminded of him. Dev continued to reach out to Sonakshi and expressed to her subtly that only she can help him. The car ride after a long time was a pleasant sequence for us, inspite of the discomfort prevailing there..💞

I have been impressed with Sonakshi's composure this week and it was very impressive that night. 👌🏻👌🏻 As Dev told all about the conversation he had with his mom, Sonakshi quietly listened and guided they the way a friend would. She said the right things to him, because the place there are in now, is no different from seven years ago and it will be a suicide to get into a relationship again knowing fully well about the implications.

She acted unaffected when Dev told her that his mom asked him to marry someone else. However she, Dev and we knew that she was very much sad when she heard the news.. It reminded me of the time, Dev put on the ring that was intended for Natasha in Sona's fingers.. She almost experienced the same pain then and now. 

Shaheer is a show stealer and thats no news to us. His subtle expressions throughout the week were commendable. That night, he pulled us into the life of Dev like a magnet, as he stood there shocked when Sonakshi referred to him as "Dost" 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Am sure Sona knows the pain of the word.. She was also once devastated that Dev "friend-zoned" her! And that time around, Dev did not even know that Sonakshi loved him as a woman loves a man. Well.. this discussion is not done yet. And no conclusions can be made. So, Sonakshi - please don't say that your paths have changed.

The only person that has the power to change the path is God.  But if someone thinks that they can affect the peace of someone else or they can decide someone's future, then they are just fooling themselves. Radha rani's plans will never bear any fruit. Her plan to find a girl who will dance to her tunes as Dev's wife is by far her most hilarious hopes! Even though maami is technically part of the bigger family of the Dixits, her presence only causes harm for the family. 

I would like to compare family of today to a concentric circle because every family needs to be protected by grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, nephews, friends and all sorts of human relations. And all of them form the different circles covering and protecting the innermost core family of us and our kids. The protection that every person in the concentric circle gives us is extremely valuable for us. At the same time, it is our responsibility to weigh the decisions made by our elders carefully with every member of our core family and use it to only strengthen us and not weaken us.

It was a rather difficult week for all of us to witness, as Ishwari's and Bijoy's blackmails were causing lot of stress to DevAkshi and us..however, there were many memorable moments to cherish-

1. Golu brightens not just the screen but also Dev's day, whenever he is around. All his scenes were lovely. Whether it was being possessive of Dev or angry for ignoring him and taking Suhana's side or it was comforting Dev when he was sad - Golu performed exceeding well and very natural. Golu baba has a solution to pretty much all of Dev's problems! 😄

2. Dev's light hearted conversation about Bijoy was also quite enjoyable this week. Dev and Bijoy have now reached a point where even though they cant share a super chemistry, they can still survive with each other around! And this current pace is probably just right! Too much chemistry might lead to more interference..So, this is good 😊

3. Shaheer's expressions are always so apt and conveys the emotions without the need of any dialogues. His body language and dialogue delivery are always pitch perfect 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 The conversation between Sona and Dev on friday was one such beautiful scene. His speechless state after seeing Sonakshi's reaction to all that he said was just perfect 👌🏻👌🏻 Throughout the week, there were so many subtle expressions! When I browse through twitter, its a treat to watch fans zooming in on those expressions..I was telling my friends that we should probably create a gif library with all those expressions! 😍😄

4. Erica portrayed a very calm and composed Sonakshi this week and I totally loved it. When there is storm around, I also react this way and I could so easily relate to her. I particularly liked her conversation with Ishwari and Maami informing them that she is leaving behind Suhana and also the conversation with Dev on Friday, while changing tires in the car. Excellent!👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

5. Every week, dialogue writers need a special mention.. The highlight dialogues this week was when Dev told Sona "If only I could control people's mind, the first thing I would have done was to control yours..so that we didn't drift apart.. and we would have had several kids" 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻💖💕💞  The dialogue about how it was necessary to understand him more in order to leave him than to love him was also very classy! 💔👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 I could probably go on listing several scenes, since the blog does not have any character limit! 

6. Saurabh's reaction for Bijoy's interference in Sonakshi's life reflected our emotions.. However, this is not the way to stop the elders' interference.. I am very impulsive and end up reacting to my dad many times like this..and later feel bad about it. Hope Saurabh finds a right way, with the help of Ronita, to make Bijoy realize his mistake..

7. The twist with the entry of the new family keeps us glued now to the Khatri track 🤓

Looking ahead-
The precap shown in which Dev was seen blaming Ishwari for stealing, is probably her dream. Dev is not a person who would treat his mother like that. Ishwari will definitely have to answer in the court of God when it is a question of being a good human being or not..But as a mother, she will only be forgiven for whatever she did. Mothers have to fight many battles that only God can understand. Happy Mother's day 😊